Frequently Asked Questions

How can I get a consultation?

Feel free to contact me at ThePortressHQ@Gmail.com with all inquiries. 

What is a Personal Ethnography?

A personal ethnography is a deeply researched, story-centered portrait of a life. Unlike a simple scrapbook or photo album, it brings together interviews, quotes, memories, and reflections from the people who know you. These voices create a rich, multi-perspective narrative that captures the fullness of a person’s journey. It is both a gift for the present and a legacy for the future. A personal ethnography may even reach back to research things and situations happening before you were born, family history, and generational notes- it is a deeply intimate examination of the ways we can be understood as products of our time, products of our families, products of the relationships around us, and still also, an incredibly unique self. 

How does Beyond Goodbye help with grief?

After a tragic loss, many loved ones find themselves longing to know the person they’ve lost more deeply. They crave stories they never heard before, or details of their loved one’s life they didn’t know. Beyond Goodbye helps families in grief by collecting these hidden or untold stories, creating a tangible book where memory lives on.

This process not only brings healing in the present but also ensures that future generations—grandchildren who never met their grandparents, nieces and nephews who lost an uncle too soon—can feel connected across time. In an age of fleeting social media posts, these books restore depth and quality of memory, preserving the essence of a life in a way that endures.

How does it work?

1. Contact me – Reach out to share your story, or the story of the person you want to focus on.

2. Learning phase – I listen carefully to understand the life, relationships, and context of the person at the center.

3. Building the web – You choose a package or selection that works for your goals- I start researching and ask for the names and contacts of others who knew them—friends, colleagues, relatives, classmates, neighbors.

4. Interviews – Each person shares how they knew them, what they remember, and a story they’ve never told before.

5. Crafting the book – I weave these narratives, quotes, and memories together with photographs into a full book—a collective portrait that honors a life.

Who will get copies of the book?

Every project includes:

• One printed physical copy

• One digital copy (easy to share with family and friends)

Additional physical copies can be printed at cost, so every loved one can hold their own copy.

Where are you located?

I am a global mover, and most of my work is done remotely. I welcome participants to share their stories with me via Zoom, phone call, or voice note. For those who prefer in-person interviews, this can be arranged for an additional fee depending on location. I can also accommodate event requests (funeral support, wedding projects). Everything is tailored to your need.

How long does it take?

Each book is unique. On average, the process takes 4–8 weeks, depending on how many people are interviewed and how quickly materials (photos, contacts, stories) are gathered. Urgent timelines (such as anniversaries or memorials) can sometimes be accommodated.

What makes Personal Ethnographies and Beyond Goodbye different from any other memory books?

Unlike generic services that collect surface-level memories, my approach is rooted in ethnography and anthropology, in addition to my academic doctoral studies supporting the methodology, I have extensive experience working in trauma, loss, and thanatology. This work is not just a collection of stories—you and your loved ones are invited into a process of discovery, where new perspectives, untold anecdotes, and deeper connections emerge. The result is not just a memory book, but a collective ethnography of a life. This is compassion work that delves into the emotional and powerful exploration of our connections, the nature of the lives we live and those of our loved ones. 

Do you work with people who are still living?

Yes. While Beyond Goodbye focuses on grief work after a death, Personal Ethnographies are ideal for celebrating someone while they are still making stories. These books make meaningful gifts for birthdays, retirements, or family milestones, allowing a person to see their life reflected back through the stories of those who love them.

What other services do you offer?
Alongside personal ethnographies and Beyond Goodbye grief books, I also offer:

• Empathetic Listening – One-hour sessions where I listen with care and presence, offering space for reflection and healing.

• Trauma Processing – Guided conversations that gently acknowledge the difficult aspects of grief and memory, allowing families to choose how and whether such stories are included.

• Portrait Photography – Thoughtful photography sessions that honor individuals and families, creating images that can accompany books or serve as lasting keepsakes.

• Social Media   

What about privacy?

All stories and photos are treated with the utmost care. Families can decide whether a book is shared widely, kept within a small circle, or even made private for immediate relatives only. If you want your loved one celebrated, and their photos and stories shared, I am happy to do so on our website and social media. All compassionate listening and trauma work is highly confidential.  

How many people will you interview?

It depends on the project. Some folks want a small, intimate circle of voices; others prefer a wider net. On average, I interview 8–15 people, but there is no strict limit. The process naturally grows as each participant suggests others who knew your loved one.

What kinds of stories do you collect?

I invite each person to share:

• How they knew the person.

• What stands out most about them, how are they envisioned in their mind.

• Memories and stories, no matter how seemingly banal, they’ve never told before, Questions they have,

• A moment of kindness, joy, humor, or impact they remember

The goal is to uncover the hidden gems of memory—details that may never have been shared but add depth to the portrait of a life.

Do you include photos or other materials?

Yes. Families are encouraged to share photographs, letters, and other personal mementos. These are carefully integrated into the book, giving a visual dimension to the stories.

What does the finished book look like?

Each book is a professionally designed volume, printed on high-quality paper with photographs and stories arranged in a thoughtful narrative. It feels like a cross between a family heirloom and a published biography. Digital copies are also provided for easy sharing.

Can you work with different languages or international families?

Yes. Every person is welcome in this work. Because my work is grounded in ethnography and anthropology, I am comfortable working across cultures and languages. If needed, translators or bilingual family members can assist in interviews to ensure every voice is included. We actively have translators on hand for work in Spanish, Romanian, and Greek.

What if someone doesn’t want to be interviewed?

Participation is always voluntary. If someone prefers not to share, that choice is respected. I then work with other voices to ensure the portrait remains balanced and inclusive.

What if painful or difficult stories come up?

Grief is complex, and not every memory is easy. I approach these moments with care, sensitivity, and respect. Families can decide whether to include or omit such stories. The process is about healing and loss can be incredibly traumatic. I am here to work with you through these emotions and feelings, which are a perfectly natural part of the process. 

Do you only work after someone has passed away?

No. While Beyond Goodbye focuses on grief and remembrance, Personal Ethnographies can be created for people still living. These are beautiful gifts for birthdays, retirements, or anniversaries, and they allow someone to see their own life reflected through the voices of others.

Is this therapy?

The process of sharing and hearing new stories often has a therapeutic effect. Families frequently describe the experience as healing, comforting, and deeply meaningful. 

Do you offer digital-only versions?

Yes. Every project includes a digital copy, which can stand alone if preferred. However, most families also choose a printed book, as it offers something physical and lasting to hold on to.

Can we add to the book later?

Yes. Additional editions can be created in the future—for example, if more stories or photos emerge, or if you’d like to create a special edition for a new generation.

Who owns the material?

You do. All stories, photos, and the final book belong to you. I only keep copies for production purposes and do not share any material without your consent.

What is empathetic listening?

Empathetic listening is more than simply hearing words—it is the practice of listening with full attention, compassion, and openness, with an understanding about trauma. In addition to creating books, I also offer one-hour empathetic listening sessions as a standalone service. These sessions provide a safe and compassionate space for you to share whatever is on your heart—trauma, grief, memory, guilt, or simply the need to be heard. With no agenda and no judgment, empathetic listening is about presence: giving your story the attention and respect it deserves. Many people find these sessions grounding, comforting, and deeply human, especially during times of loss or transition.